~Bedroom tip #30 ~ Auto-erotica

There are a lot of cars out there with automatic sunroofs. Hopefully,
yours is one of them. If not, find an excuse to rent one for a day; it'll be
worth every penny.

Here's What You Need:
One car with a sunroof.

Here's How You Do It:
Park where nobody can see you and open up the sunroof. Since you've
got a radio within arm's length, put on some appropriate music.
Get your woman naked, or at least bottomless.
Have her climb up on the roof and sit on the back edge of the sunroof,
facing the hood (her feet can rest comfortably against the windshield).
Get into the passenger's seat and kneel, facing the trunk. Now raise your
head up between her legs. Using your mouth and tongue, pleasure her
like you never have before. Let her enjoy all the unique sensations: the
height, the danger, the smooth metal and glass against her bare skin
and your unique vantage point.
Fifty years from now, she'll still be talking about this one.

~Bedroom tip #22~ Whipped Cream Dream

Here's a classic technique that seems simple enough, but often times
goes horribly wrong. Not for you, though, because now you'll know the
secret.
Always use non-dairy whipped topping. The diary products in real
whipped cream begin to change as they heat up on a person's skin. The
whipped cream will emit a foul, "sour milk" type of odor that can really kill
an evening. Take it from those who know: non-dairy is the way to go.

Here's What You Need:
One can of non-diary whipped topping.

Here's How You Do It:
Get your woman naked.
Apply whipped topping liberally over your woman's body. Pay special
attention to the nipples, navel, bikini line and any other personal
erogenous zones you may have discovered.
Slowly and delicately lick the whipped topping from your woman's body.
Deliberate, pointed flicks of the tongue are generally more stimulating
than a flat-tongued motion.
Leave the last bit of whipped topping on your tongue and begin to
pleasure your woman orally. Reapply the whipped topping to the clitoris
and vagina as needed.
Continue until your woman lets out a squeal of pleasure that'll make the
cows come home.

~Bedroom Tip #16 ~ Seltzer-gasm

This is a fun way to let your woman experience something she never has
before: thousands of tiny bubbles swirling around her most sensitive
area. Be sure to use the "Gold" variety of the world's most popular tablet.
It's had the medicinal ingredients removed.

Here's What You Need:
One glass of water.
One effervescent bicarbonate tablet without aspirin.

Here's How You Do It:
Get your woman naked. Have her lie on her back with her knees bent
and legs slightly apart.
Break the tablet into four quarters.
Place the rounded edge of one quarter tablet between the top-most
portion of your woman's vaginal lips. Insert only enough of the tablet to
hold it in place.
Take a small sip of water and keep it in your mouth.
Press your lips against the portion of her vagina holding the tablet and
open them so that a small stream of water trickles out. This should
activate the tablet and release bubbles around her vagina.
Get into some serious oral pleasuring. When necessary, take another
sip of water. If needed, replace the tablet with a fresh piece.
Continue until your woman says, "Oh, what a relief it is."